the guy speaks :

2009-04-24T06:55:00.000-07:00

hmmm...beautiful things. (;

i had the most excellent time watching and enjoying the good things in life. today's badminton is very awesome. everything became so so great. i'm enjoying my time with this current batch. i really am. well, that's not the motive of the post. time to update again on my accounts and thoughts on life being rampant in a uniform organisation. heard stuffs that some people committed suicide because of love. cruel hor? never understood how they had the guts to jump. anyways, teenage romance is a norm and i do ahve my views on it.

in singapore's society, our first encounter with the opposite gender is in secondary school. you can pity those single sex school , for them it will be in jc, universities but also army if they have a special reference! aaaah living the life of a 15 year old is a time of exploration, breaking away from being a kid and maybe 'act' to be an adult. actually came to think of it, i never wanted to grow up.being a kid is fun and i believe we can always remain cute and curios like a child, when making mistakes are fun.

as we grow our thinking changes, most of our minds are really not stable (eg. wen jie. jun xi. larry lol) and decision-making is often reckless and impulsive. i made a lot of mistakes and most of them often ended with regrets. i need proper guidance and monitoring or else the situation will be disastrous and irreversible. It's nobody's fault! we have to get this straight. parents are not trained to handle teenagers. we need behavioural management that we need. from here, education is vital.

think about the peer pressure you have to go through. the media glamourises teenage romance, the fashion industry targets teenagers, and your friends show off their boysfriends or girlfriends to you. honestly,i feel lousy and i know most of u do too if you like cannot 'catch up'. you have to belong somehow. you have your pride your jealousy, your lack of money and confidence. worst of all, your puberty! aaaaaah!

what is going on here? the school system prepares kids to live lives in the future and juz make mroe money for the country. nobody gives a shit on how teenagers their lives. ok my whole family do. school expects to do something and the parents expect the schools to do EVERYTHING. if not complain right? right? right?

teachers also need jobs looking at the economic meltdown and cannot afford to offend parents.

bleargh, out of point already lol.what is love? aiya, i don't know. i am a failure currently. i never understood how to please people. i only know how to be myself. do you call me 'selfish'? i find there are so many other people who really need your help and companionship. are we really so scared and lose confidence that we must have someone to remind us that we are pretty and good? i am very confused. we fall in love for a 'feel good' reason. because others do it we must also do it? bruises are inflicted on both parties and usually turn to self-doubt and destruction. then, suffer! wah lau!

yada yada yada, oh. i fully understand that teenage-hood is also a time to make more friends.the importance of network.knowing and understanding more peopl will amkke you more aware of our social problems and we learn from there how to tackle them head-on.

you can associate love like appreciating the beauty of a butterfly.when it lands on your palm, you admire and cherish it. when it flies you let it go. if you close your plams, you hurt and even crush it. i do have girls that i love but most of teh time to the worng person. damn agonising!
actually, i never want to possess them.they will always know that i care for them. some say i never go after them, must put in efforts to chase. yes, it's true!. i never chase girls. i find this very disrespectful to the person. i will appreciate her more if she is not one who takes praises to satisfy her vanity.what for if they cannot sense my love? ha!

to end off, just think hard and many times. i may be a loser in romance, i don't one my close ones to fence themselves in a relationship and forget about community living like i used to. also, the urgency we need to integrate more people to fight social problems. lol. i just don't want them to get hurt!

woah seh, i wrote quite alot.hope mr poh gave this topic for oral and i must own it. hehe

careless whispers.

2009-04-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

tiring week. i need a hugggggggeee break this weekend. the weekend will be used to catch up on homework as well. joined this Dialogue Competition held by the malay cultural society in RI. thought it was fun and haven't been to RI before, i gave it a try then. met the dudes from RI and got to know a few cool guys. my fullest respect to them, really. was abit disappointed that we didn't win. had high hopes after our performance but in the end it just turned out otherwise. had fun anyway and the food was awesome. hope to be back again sia. here are the photos. (note: most taken by seri ariyani)

2009-04-18T06:45:00.000-07:00

B.Z.
time to update again. i can't even remember the sequence of scenarios that happened these past few days. all i know is that it has been pretty hectic even without volleyball. heavy workload and such. still, the situation makes it all awkward. still stumped. still clueless. i don't know what to do next. what move to make. still looking for a sign. please, lord. sheesh. i just hope everything works out fine. anyways, here are the photos of mr fadz's engagement party. (;

2009-03-26T07:38:00.001-07:00

this room is dusty, and the conservationist in me refuses to switch on the light,so all im getting is a mere stream from the window.i can hear squels from american idol replay in the hall.dusty dusty, so is my mind actually, memories getting caked with dust already, when it's only been not more than half a year. Growing up is a fast process, not one that i enjoy partaking but it's not as if we have a choice anyway.Yet, when i glance behind some are still in the comfortable ride of happiness, ignorance..it's not that i'm not happy, i am...well i'm not happy but i'm not upset either.& truth be told i am scared, that along with the memories caked with dust, right smack in the middle, there you'll find me just lying there part of the memories, too ignorant to let them go, so who am i right now when the real me is but a mere memory?not sure really, just someone who almost forgot how loud he could laugh,just waking up doing the usual routines, excuse me but really, since when did i do routines?i'm just merely existing at this point of time,& i would never have thought myself to be like this at all.

digressing..

2009-03-21T06:41:00.000-07:00

okay i know i'm slow but the dates 16th-18th March will etched eternally in my memory. SCMUN '09 has become a reality to me and the other generation of leaders, bridging friendships from different background trading ideas, experiences and of course, our particulars. i'm very exuberent about how we teenagers gather together actively debating and discussing about world issues.i just realise that the flow is the magical state where everything that we all say and touch feels effortless and falls into place like it's meant to be. they foud their own voice before using it to inspire others. many great individuals there. it's hard to believe some of them are of my age and croons words that suggests maturity well beyond the 20s.though their little outbursts and mild profanity during debates would remind you of the 13-17 year olds that we actually are. The saddest thing now is regretting not fulfilling my role, my potential and desire at this wonderful stage. Security Council mates are the coolest bunch plus our very effective but then silly and ridiculous delegates. you guys had made the whole course worthwhile. how fruitful it was when we decided to have an ice breaker after a much heated debate.this whole experience so valuable. the dinner and dance, sounds and lights, crisis and some others were very engaging. everybody did a good job. congrats to the winning delegates and hopefully, we'll keep in touch. miss you guys loads. (: (: (:

SCMUN SECURITY COUNCIL '09 less than 3. LOL

2009-03-15T05:40:00.000-07:00

after a long phase of good health, it's about (effing) time i got sick.
yea, at the wrong time. and i need a camera handphone where i can take pictures and put it in my blog. heh

note to self: im supposed to be sleeping. Good luck staying awake tomorrow

2009-03-07T05:24:00.000-08:00

had this moment' before sleeping. Was listening to mayday parade while everyone was asleep, and have you seen the stars there? And i started to feel, alone. Can't help feeling small, when im but a mere spectator to God's simple pleasant wonder of diamonds against a deep blue backdrop. I miss some people alot. i miss my acoustic too. i miss my own better self.

nothing to post about these days.

at night we watch the stars explode with you

2009-02-19T05:22:00.000-08:00

i'll just do this before i go for prayers.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. my face
2. my stamina
3. not really.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. dominently malay
2. muslim
3. my grandma's chinese.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. hatred
2. death
3. loss

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1. play a sport
2. computeeeer
3. food, drink, bathe etc

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. hair
2. nice arms. oh goshh, (;
3. not too thin. lanky.

THREE NON-PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. funny!
2. intellectual
3. polite.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY
1. the pride, the ego
2. a major slob. i can be a real bum. just ask my dad, im suprised im not thrown out of the house yet.
3. loves to be out

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1. listen to music
2. movies.
3. being with good company

oh, i'm disappointed with everything lately. currently dull and predictable. i'll rejuvenate. don't worry. take cares.

2009-02-19T05:16:00.000-08:00

(an excerpt of someone's blog)

The only remedy for a barren heart is prayer,
however poor and inadequate …

We must pray,
and pray for each other,
and if you were here,
I'd fold hands with you,

because we're poor, weak, sinful children.

random, don't blame me if you don't bother about my day

2009-02-07T06:05:00.000-08:00

Ah, i speak of the little occurences.been a guy of few words lately, answering the voices in my head.but at the very least words in all honesty finally gained me some sleep.My tired eyes were getting despairingly obvious and my body can hardly keep up either.

how's the week?
hmmm. tiring. emotionally and physically draining.

a short overview of the week as i'm too tired to post.

am still exhausted.

i grazed my knee kinda badly.sigh, another scar added to myhorrible-looking leg.the wound still hurts.

i am a little oblivious of my surroundings.

still in love with ming bridges.

body aches.

we're pathetic in the zonals.

hoping that i did reasonably well for my recent tests

i'm pissed at the world and some people around me.and also, myself.

busy, busy week. will get worse next week.

okay mayube i'll speak abit.went jb today. ergh. i wonder why i tagged with my family to buy groceries there. believe me, it can be boring. i was never a big fan of that place but something just made me follow them. anyway, today was okay. i think it's the food and the nap in the car.
i am still very tired. also, for the record, i am not into the 'ask-for-her-phone-number' business. so yeah, not yet but maybe soon. a looooong 'soon'. speaking of which, i still think that they will go lenient on a relationship as long as i go easy and show some excellent school test-marks. seriously, i love them. i've come to accept that i would be the one who would take them in into my house when they're old. i'd be definitely choosey for a soulmate. she should understand my part. history has a shitty mark on both my mum's and dad's side of the eldest neglecting the parents. it's kinda like a tradition, really. the eldest should be the one responsible, i guess.

omg i didn't realise i typed so much tell me if you read all of it. lol

2009-01-31T01:47:00.000-08:00

lazy days like these make me wish i read my book in an open space with clean air.i want to be so much MORE... than just this.
being in the mrt, or bus.. looking at people, makes me feel so defeated.everyone looks resigned to their dull predictable lives.i suddenly felt like i haven't been living for the past 14 years.with that, i felt this surge of courage to make my life,as meaningful & interesting as possible and stop being scared, whatever oppurtunities comes my way, seize it

anyways, i realise when it comes to books, i prefer those with the intricacies of the language. i marvel at the way pretty words are weaved together to beautify a certain scene/emotion/situation.

and music, one of the best remedies that could plummet me out of the boredom and lethargy of the flu bug i'm having.

what picture is this song painting,
i feel it being sad, encompassing everything in blue,
dark, sad and beautiful.

sometimes emotions are better expressed through music,
some things after all can't be explained by mere words.
emotions have no boundaries & words are finite,
it's as if words would taint that pure sound.

my lips were much too shy,the words about you they never rhymed.

2009-01-24T07:15:00.000-08:00

"Forgive me if I stutter from all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, i've crossed you in hallways a thousand times,
no more camouflage I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall."

bleargh. sigh. life...

2009-01-23T06:25:00.000-08:00

this season's chinese new year celebrations are bloody crappy. there were just no atmosphere or mood at all like we always do every year. i was jaded when i went to welcome the elderly people and the news about the arrival of their bus coming in late sorta ticked me off abit. the fusion councillors were bored so we started our fusion circle and played truth or dare. luckily it's quite fun.watching the sec 2s gossip about one another really brought back the memories i had with 2/1. anyways, whatever happens in the circle, stays in the circle. then our beloved guests came and yeah, they were nice. they know how to speak malay so i had a bit of fun talking about the cny celebrations yada yada. escorted them to the hall and watched the concert. i won't say it's dull cos the efforts contributed were a lot and yeah to see your prc classmates perform is quite enriching. the indian dances were funny. and it did bring up the mood. after that i was getting restless. bleargh. went to friday prayers, had lunch and back to school for training. the team's self-esteem looked plummeted. it's like most of them found it meaningless to have training on that day. so yeah, everything went dull already. i observed that when you were younger, you loved these festivities but now, it's just some ordinary day. geez.

oh something reminds me,

Don't be so scared, we will not lead you on like you've been doing for weeks.
So you're selfish, and I'm sorry.
When I'm gone you'll be going nowhere fast
Nowhere fast, nowhere fast.

Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you,
'cause I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me.
And near death, last breath, and barely hanging on.
Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you?

till next time. (;

2009-01-17T06:01:00.000-08:00

(hopefully, i shall not be confused anymore. sooner or later)

one wish: world peace!(and for my dreams to come true. please, lord?)

whoa, exhausting man.

homecoming and cca open house. met alot of familiar faces and also many individuals whow i deemed had become successful in their career and/or education. tempts me to be at the top level. i realised that anderson is quite rich in history. and decided to leave a legacy in the school. anyways, cca open house looked fine. missed ncc's and npcc's pds. arvin look like a tamil tiger haha. i went up and suddenly i was called upon to do push-ups sia. hidhir's fault la. he wasn't suppose to play with the ball first but yeah' he didn't know. actually, i don't need to do. but wen jie claimed that we're one family and everybody need to do. damn basket. so throughout the event we just showcased our training regime and so the day was dull. did not expect the degree of dullness but it's just not the same. there was something missing. went to have a meal at banquet with sally and natassha. so yeah, that's all. my knee hurts

laterrrrrs.

2009-01-16T06:22:00.000-08:00

finally, i've mustered enough motivation to blog with much enthusiasm again.life's been brilliant and i realized that i have nothing to rant about. school's been hectic with the multiple assignments, pressurizing lessons, long days and consistent training sessions. it's really exhausting. i guess sundays will now become the day for me to catch up on my beauty sleep and for me to recuperate from the ongoing fatigue.on another note, i'm like really loving my mom to bits for the mini shopping stint today.gonna totally burn this weekend. cca open house. i'll be gymming, study, beauty sleep, play, religious class, tuition . and i am going to orientate that cycle every weekend.

aaaah body aching like crazy and next week's the first zonal match. brace yourself, team. for wei xuan and aik meng alright? i feel bad for zurah. hope you're feeling better. maybe something new will cheer you up. have faith, buddy.

2009-01-09T21:58:00.000-08:00

okay first things first, yours truly is officially 15 years old! haha ok so now i have to be more mature, serious and more civic-minded which is quite ironic cos i've not been like that for the past few days. i was child-like ( drill this into your head!), dumb, arrogant and sore loser. so mind me. i'm sorry i didint reply cos i was slping when you guys literally waited till 12 am just to wish me happy 15th birthday. haha

thanks to the following for the wishes:

my beloved class 3/2, mr fadzly, seri, afiqa, sarah tan shu ling, jun xi, wai kit, hidhir, kak aidah, hazwani, salmah, aqilah, atiqah, si ting, faatihah, adlyn, si ying, arvin, yan ting, hui xiang, instructor wayne, anderson student council, anderson volleyball team and the others whom i missed out.

also thanks to all those people who literally taupok me hard for just reminding them my birthday namely: the ncc gang plus wen jie, the guys from asc and whoever were a part of this painful act that cause me to suffer and forget that you were there too. (;

don't need gifts from you all except friendship and kindness okay. remind me of your birthday too.

anyways im feeling: AWESOME!

the sec 3 adventure camp was superb. i'm happy with my class, the current batch and also the instructors. though there were alot of complications, we managed to settle our differences aside and just go have fun as a class. the intro was baaaaad. as expected when wei xuan warned me the other day. just because of some silly trivial stuffs and we got scolded. bleargh. the reason behind it is probably to pump us up. the instructors attached to us were two gorgeous ladies and one ah beng. lols they're jasmine, chew ping and wayne respectively. too bad they don't know how to pronounce my name. haiya. as always, did some ice brekers by playing blow wind blow. moey always got to forfeit by doing some wushu demo with chee ian. damn funny. wayne is an unusual man. critical, nonsensical but sometimes true, he makes me laugh. it's not because of his jokes. instead, it's his comments. he can be vicious but yeah, very approchable and childish. he taught us the left right back front claps. never heard of it before. then, we played simon says.
i never knew this game could be damn bastard. i was elimnated early in the game cos he said " 3/2 oi' and yeah i sorta fall for that. wayne is so smart la.

" simon says what's your name?"
"darrick...."
"ah?"
" darrick.'
"haha you lose, i didnt say simon says,haha!"

walao, idiot. -.-

a lot of people got eliminated and left with praveena and zhe shuo. they knew his tricks already so he pretended to talk with the camp chief. and he told us that the camp chief wants us to go take our bags. the whole 3/2 take our bags and he suddenly told us that he didnt say simon says.
so nobody win. grrrr. have to applaud him for his clever tricks. can use some of that.

had our lunch then taught us a few cheers like the makan cheer. SA SA SA SA SA SA MAKAN! so coool. then' yadda yadda went to changi by bus. we had to clean the dorm. the 3/2 guys were bored so we pretended that we are having a rescue mission with our brooms, mops and dustbans. hehe after that i can't remember. i only know that we played the low elements like 'all aboard' and 'spider web' . i realised that it is we that made the game so fun. like the camp chief said, you want to have fun it is all up to us.then went to the breifing of how to wear the harness. the camp chief chose the right person for the demo. guess how? wen jie! he made it so exaggerated. the camp chief pulled the string so tight that he felt was excruciating. wen jie claimed that hidhir kept looking at his groin so he took the helmet and covered it. hahaha so funny sia. we practically laugh at the word groin everytime it is said. then had dinner. the food was bit raw. the interior of the chicken is so bloody red. taste nice though. i went for prayers with the malay gang. instructor sheik had us laughing till we got stitches with his indian accent like the lemur from madagascar. thanks to chee ian for bringing that topic up. then we went for a night walk being blindfolded. i'm inpressed at this part cos yeah we helped each other out and depended on each other. we lay our backs on the floor and got mesmerised by the stars.
it almost brought me to tears. beautiful man, beautiful. shower time was crap. everybody were making so much noise with the indian accent. larry was surprisingly okay when i was showering with him. slept even though the engines of the plane were roaring by like nobody's business and you can get crazy with that kind of loudness. luckily i was so clueless about the surroundings when i was sleeping.

day 2 is the highlight man. all the activities makes you drool when you read the schedule. improvised rafting was good though we rushed through the last part. the two groups were needed to present and sell our products. chee ian said his raft is accompanied by some satellite system. gps thingy right? he said barriers instead of barrels. so he crapped all the way la. ours was presented by zhe shuo. then i extra said that it includes aia insurance and 1day warranty. very creative right? right? right? tell me i'm right i think if we tried it out my raft will capsize like titanic. then. went dragon boating. our coordination was lousy man. we improved then had fun playing the viking(something like the ride in the amusement park). didnt have time to capsize. hmph. had lunch and we did our makan cheer. now it is so fun already. the food sucks. npow it is the high ekements! our station was so freaking easy. not even a tad challenging. but nice to see the view from on top. can see batam. then go rock climbing. the guys challenged to do pull up whoever reached the top. everybody failed except zhi xiang. kudos to him man.
then had campfire preparation. we sucked badly. hady confuses us even more. zhou yang was right. just do something simple is better. when there's a camp, obviously there is a campfire. the instructors are so cool. imagine driving a mr bean car with hip hop indian music. for me, i wud imagine arvin doing that with his bling bling. the classes did their item. ours were okay. better than expected. 3/3's were very good. haziq impersonate the camp chief's temper and jokes. he did it very well. and i find that most of the volleyballers are a bit of a disgrace to our ccas. but it is great to see them do the lead roles. justin acting like a bitch at changi village carpark, wen jie dancing like aruna, me did some oldies dance that turned into a breakdance, the 3/5 volleyballers playing imaginary volleyball. very shocking to see justing acting like a bapok. PRICELESS. the teachers were very sporting. ended the camp and watched a slideshow of us during the camp. nicholas and moey were the stars. went to picthed our tents and go sleep.

then comes the the last day. hmmm, quite saddened la. we taupok wayne and splashed him with water. he then told us to wait and use a hose to spray at us. bastard sia. it was damn fun la. being sprayed as a class.3/1 also taupok their instructor. their's got sky-divers to end the taupok. even better hahaha. went back to school and practised for sec 1 camp and yeah was a victim of the taupok people and went crazy during the sec 1 campfire. now im very exhausted and lost my voice. somebody stole it i guess. see ya guys next time (;

2009-01-03T05:11:00.000-08:00

my new class is okay, i guess. different personalities. we've got the indon and PRC scholars, chee ian who's the class joker/prankster. hafiz, the future RnB singer, ranjitha the great, brendon, edwin , zhou yang the military band guy and hady. oh, moey happened to be in the same class as me. and larry and poh seng and bei ying and praveena and yu jun and rebecca and zhan rong and... oh geez, kinda forgot the rest. sorry if i missed your name. anyways, they are all nice people. 3/2 looks promising.

well, updating soon. ciao.

2008-12-31T06:08:00.000-08:00

2007 has been one hell of a roller coaster ride for me and i saw a miracle today that probably changed the whole mood for this year as i brace myself for 2008. It was an ambivalent moment, i wanted to do the the-mourinho-shaking-in-and-out-of-the-forearms-gesture in triumph but i also wanted to cry. it's a rarity to suddenly have some kind of a film unfolding right in front of your eyes reminding you of all the bad times at the start of the year and how it changes course in different phases throughout the year. They say that it does one a world of good to reflect, once in a while. To consolidate everything we have seen, heard, smelt, tasted. To remember everything that we have felt. And as the pages turn to the final chapter in our books, I find myself somewhat overwhelmed. Many things have happened, and I have changed so much. the last song i sing as it draws to a close for whole new and much anticipated year. Everyone has their own song. They move on with life to their own rhythm and beat, listen to their own melodies, play their own music. My song, and I am glad to have had it this way, has itself rooted in you. All of you. So i just want to say thanks to my family members, my class, teachers and those who i deemed to be the closest to me. i'm also sorry that my song had been too loud or irritating. have a wicked new year.

with warm regards,
fadzly

heh.

2008-12-25T05:40:00.000-08:00

ho. ho. ho.

"You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,I will never be with you."

i wonder how james blunt can come up with such lyrics full of cynicism. the song degrades you by emphasizing that you're not good enough for some person you see on the streets. now, is that usually true?

oh well, had class gathering at mr wong's place. it was a day of cheap fun but somebody had to spoil my mood by beating me in winning eleven. grrrr -.- went to arvin's prata shop after that then we crap about shit, urine, christmas, our lower secondary life, the no. of days we need to come to cca, mr fadz's facebook and his seemingly misleading pictures.and we would never miss out any topic about arvin. sigh wish it could be longer. miss u buddies!!

oh, and a very merry xmas (;

2008-12-23T06:47:00.000-08:00

the atmosphere at the stadium was awesome. it was nice to be able to experience the verbally abusive nature of the game again. a losing game but i guess singapore did pretty well against an attack-minded vietnamese side which had players who are quick and tricky.come to the end of the game, i was too stoned to enjoy the match because of vietnam's goal and all the missed chances. oh well, it's great to be there.

had friendly with unity sec and jurong west sec, screwed up in the beginning but am able to balance towards the end. i realise im psychologically weak sometimes. need to work on that. the fringe players like kenneth, kevin,aik meng and dean were able to shine with the absence of justin. that got me motivated i guess. oh well, school's starting and parents are returning with a few days away, weee! argh shitty cramps from today's volleyball and badminton. can barely move man.

till then.

2008-12-20T06:36:00.000-08:00

i am annoyed. only a bit though. but at myself, mind you. not at anybody else. agitated to the core, i am seriously miserable to an extent that even the gigantic titanic will screw itself upside down and cause a major oil spill that will affect the wildlife in the sea.

so yes, i am not putting the blame on anybody but me. i am after all compulsive. i am begging and pleading for a primary occurrence to happen that would change my point of view. hopefully, it will happen soon. hopefully.

kristen jaymes stewart, this american girl who stood out in her recent acting for twilight. i think it's her eyes. or her name. or her aussie background.

or perhaps, her short hair.

that settles it. i'm putting LA, California as my top priority for my list of places to go to.
.
.
.
singapore's performances have been crap. their play are very shaky and facing vietnam the next game, i have a strong feeling that they will suffer tomorrow. i will be watching the match and rooting for them but really, it's frustrating to see your country go downhill.( malaysians, i feel for you.)

aaaah, had fun at ymc today.

end.

2008-12-15T07:09:00.000-08:00

"There may not be another way to your heart
so I guess I'd better find a new way in.
I won't be satisfied"

another man's food might be another man's poison. not myself lately. i was crap at training today. ergh. i should just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. heh

2008-12-15T06:58:00.000-08:00

and so i waited like a bugger for the green man to light up abiding to the laws of the road. i realized that the traffic light button was not pressed to activate the green man. two janes were standing by the button, jabbering craps possibly pertaining to the length of their hair or the shoe they just bought and what not nonchalantly, ignoring the fact that they did not press the button and not giving a hell about wanting to press the button.

so i approached one of them and precisely told them that, "you're suppose to press the button like this to cross, see?" and one of them was like, "oh, i didn't want to press the button because some people use their feet to kick and press the button."

hearing the utter crap of obvious bimbotic self-centeredness, i was saying to myself, "oh. my. god. what a prick." gave jane number 1 the ewan mcgregor smile, extremely fake . then, i pressed the button, not heeding their claim.

however (and here comes the best part),
as much as i'm infuriated and annoyed, i find their ignorance and their selfish reasonings extremely attractive. i think it's the height.

2008-12-13T04:09:00.000-08:00

"Try to leave the light on when I'm gone, even in the daylight shine on..."

oh damn. that song has a load of meaning to it. whatever it is, i've been dreaming and thinking a lot lately. such fantasies of mine are pretty crazy. but i need those. i just hope it'll come true. haaaaaai!

it's official. i'm a luohan fish. takraw balls are bloody hard. i dont even know why i volunteered to join and now, i'll be treading around like a fool. aiyo, i'm still building silly sandcastles in the air. lord help.

now i can have my huge break during the weekend and catch up with my beauty sleep since i've completed most of my assignments and nothing that can stack up on my shoulders. so im feeling satisfied with myself. went to finish up maths homework with wai kit, hidhir and justin. it's pretty okay since we have four heads to help(and copy) each other out. was very funny doing work with them. when we settled on a place and when we were putting our bag, justin nonchalantly said:

"wow."

"what?"

"this library..."

"what's wrong, man?"

"makes me feel like, well, tempts me to take a nap." *smiles to himself*

wai kit cursed justin while i laughed. i thought it was damn funny. justin was on his dumps recently with the affair so we thought it was something serious. the funny thing was that he told us nonchalantly. haha.

waaah i think i need to get back on track. my stamina's diminishing and it's demoralising me. i ran 7.2 km with mr fadz and gang at seletar resevoir and i couldn't take it at somewhere 3.3 km i think. abdominal pain. aaaah mr fadz still has the cheek to say it's so short. hmph i accused him of taking steroids hahahaha. okay thats about all. been eating alot. see ya around.

it's hot in here, should switch on the air-conditioner. cos you're making me melt.

2008-12-06T02:44:00.000-08:00

i'm loving the week. a few days without cca or any form of accumulated authority could actually work well for me. i'm not stressed whatsoever. and this few days have actually gave me a chance to get closer to my religious side. just so lovely, the week.

amidst all the stress-free week, i still have a longing for something special. it won't work without any effort, no doubt, but if things are gonna happen, it will happen sooner or later... right? i played my part, questioned my move and thought about the consequences. the thing that can mess everything upside down, my confidence included, would be all the pessimistic and cynical thoughts of mine. i don't mind something crazy but getting demoralized time after time again can get pretty boring sometimes.

i have two bullets and i can only trigger once. sheesh

aaah cramps. can barely kneel down. well, at least you're back.

2008-12-02T21:21:00.000-08:00

i was depressed.so i cut myself.

the reasons why i cut myself:
1) for spongebob
2) for volleyball
3) for chelsea
4) for anderson?errr...
5) because my grandma force me to eat my greens during breakfast just now

right. no way am i gonna do something so messed up. so yeah, luqman invited me for futsal soccer and i just couldn't resist the temptation. but the shitty field with tiny grasses that were thorny kinda caused all the crazy cuts. i slided down on an approximately 48 degrees celsius field. can see the whole part of my knee turned red accompanied with a gash.ouch. well, at least i played soccer after eons.

2008-11-30T05:17:00.000-08:00

"every step i take
every move i make
every single day
everytime i pray
i'll be missing you."

to my mom and dad, have a safe trip to mecca (: i will always be there for you.

and you, take good care of yourself. don't worry i won't misbehave.haha

2008-11-29T01:02:00.000-08:00

woah, spent the whole day outside yesterday. feeling very jaded and drained. had training in the morning and went to celebrate cohesion day at east coast park. me and abdu went up and down to get there after friday prayers. helped them set up the barbecue while waiting for the rest to come. then stephanie , our fusion head brought a snake board. me, wei jie and small eugene were like practising until we got the idea. try it guys! it's fun! wyatt was so funny. he saw us playing with it and felt mesmerised. he decided to try it and when his foot touched the board he felt like not playing with it -.-. small eugene tried and he was happy that he managed to go by a few cm. hahaha

the amazing race had started. i teamed up with abdu and damian. had a heated rivalry with athirah's group. damn crap call themselves winner. bluek! lols our first task was to do 80 jumping jacks. can see that all the group cheated. some groups like did only 10 and got the next clue already. we chionged to the next station at macs. the task was to go up the slide 10 times. my group and timi's group were the first ones. timi got a brief lead so i decided to do the easy way by running up the slide and go down half way and ran up again. yeah. then we headed to a bicycle rental shop. the next task was to go to a yellow tower and collect a puzzle there. damian and abdu cycled there while i need to sing abc till they get back haiyo. completed the puzzle and jogged to 7-11. oh my gosh, this task is the irritating one. they gave us one huge cup of peach drink and in order to get to the next round, we have to finish everything including the ice. my group took 2 straws each and sucked everything out in the midst of brain freeze and uncontrollable bladder. my stomach was like bloated and about to explode.at least we got a free drink though. we took turns to cycle and jog to a big pond area near our bbq pit. it was something like a treasure hunt.search the things in the list. not that easy actually. we strayed off far away that wei jie need to call us back. finished that task and sprinted to our last station. we have to dig for a printed paper. sandra, daniel and small eugene accepted bribes so they gave us a hint. damian found it but it was torn and tattered.the last task was to find a stranger and took a picture of their buried foot. yeah my group won la basically. eherm, yes ah. haha went to wash up.

the other groups made it and started their bollywood and diva moments by the shores. -____-" since my group won, we had the privilege to throw water bombs at each other. abdu has a problem. his water balloon always got attracted to xiu hui.sad for her man hehehehe. then had the tradition of throwing people into the sea. push here push there. sigh was kinda forced to join in the fun. mr singh came so we had dinner.mr singh and his wife can open a satay shop so that every training we get free satay! chit chat chit chat and jammed with carmina's guitar. was late night already so went home with aqilah and abdu. my legs were wobbly by the time i arrived home. to all fusion mates, u guys did a great job. three cheers u guys alright.

council seniors and fusion mates

sylvia's group forlicking in the sand.

"damian! keep your eyes on the road!"

adlyn, faatihah and izyan

timi's group solving the puzzle. ouh nice picture.

haha i like this. (wyatt)

yes ah, a sunset of my own (;

wei jie, abdu and a boy named hafiz

athirah/abdu/adlyn/izyan/faatihah/hafiz/me

the bros.

faatihah got wet lols

not sure whether that's wyatt or abdu.

look at what big eugene is doing to me.

hmmm, it's getting dark.

candle light dinner eh?

aiye....so messy

ASC 2008 (:(:(:

i'll be missing you

2008-11-26T05:10:00.000-08:00

"Letters keep me warm
Helped me through the storm]
But with all that we've been through
After all this time I'm coming home to you

I reach towards the sky I've said my goodbyes
My heart's always with you now
I won't question why so many have died
My prayers have made it through yeah
'Cause with all these things we do
It don't matter when I'm coming home to you"

reminds me of the soldiers in the war.

2008-11-26T05:06:00.000-08:00

'Your mercy falls like rain. please protect them'

2008-11-26T04:45:00.000-08:00

okay so when i got home feeling tired, my mum just suddenly embraced me and kissed my forehead. i was touched. i only got 4 days before they go to mecca for their pilgrimage. i just realized how lucky i am to have my parents. my dad, especially, rules to the core. maybe it's because i'm turning 15 and so he gives me the respect that i duely need but i guess he's the man. still fit, he's a police officer, he doesn't smoke, acts shy and has a whole lot of respect for his children, he has all the attributes a son probably needs. woohoo! my mom's the most coolest lady too. she believes in narrowing the generation gap between her and her children and so, she does a lot to blend in. sometimes, she takes it too far but i guess it's all in her good intentions. i have friends to prove that my mom's the coolest. ghaha. i'm so glad the relationship my mom and dad have is true. that's what sticks them like glue. some of my mates, and i'm sorry, have a pretty crazy family affair. i just realized how lucky i was when dad actually offered me out for breakfast just now.

haiz i don't know how i will feel at the actual moment.

anyways, watched madagascar with some peeps. one spastic show. love it to the core hahaha. i think it's not a bad movie with a 2nd sequel. a lot of hidden meanings and wisdom.this movie is different as the way the movie solves the problem in the end so it's not extreamly good or bad although some jokes are quite hilarious. my favourite were the commando penguins. they never fail to amuse me with their nonsensical plan to solve problems. go watch it!

2008-11-24T03:41:00.000-08:00

volleyball has been very tedious and very draining to a huge extent that i now spend more time on my bed every weekend. i never enjoyed full-scale training but now, it's necessary, i guess. so i had volleyball traing in the morning today. heard that the c div boys won victoria sch! whooo! great job guys! then meet mr fadz with wen jie, fat kit, larry, justin and wei xuan. damn fun. yeah, with the two jokers around, life never look so glum. when i got home, my whole body aches. muscle cramps can be mighty painful. apparently, because of dehydration and lack of minerals, i had muscle cramps all over my body. i guess i pushed myself too darned much during badminton. my calves are aching like crap now.

so my friend hafiz has this cool playlist thingy and i guess im gonna try it:
1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the shuffle command.
4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That's right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It's time for total musical honesty.
5. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurances. You don't have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of ten song with five artists, you can if you'd like.

1) tiger lily - matchbook romance
2) my beautiful rescue - this providence
3) all again for you - we the kings
4) skeptics and true believers - the academy is
5) one of those nights - the cab
6) unholy confessions - avenged sevenfold
7) heels over head - boys like girls
8) breathing - yellowcard
9) always be my baby - david cook
10) never too late - three days grace

this shows i ain't gay. get your facts right!

2008-11-19T04:51:00.000-08:00

holy crap. it's been a week since i last posted. heh. well, the week's procession kinda discouraged all my longing to rant on this crazy web log. me and my superstitions.

so what went up this week?

first up, my parents flushed me down with food this week. crazy but lovely stuff. a food fiesta of sorts for me. and i love it. haha.the c boys managed to qualify to the next round in the u-13 tournamnet. lucky sia haha

oh i had a bad day today. okay so i was paid to help out in setting up the beach volleyball court at sentosa.i was just digging and digging with the shovel. and suddenly i messed up my foot, the blade literally cut my foot from the top. did not want stitches although my parents were practically worried about me. the cut was pretty deep for that sort of blood disposal. i wasted my blood. geez. i guess its the Lord's way of telling me to start being an angel. fine i'll start being diligent.

and finally, i must say that the everyday dealings with my volleyball clique have been hilarious. spent time with them yesterday and yeah, i guessed i had fun. we talked and chatted and basically slacked our way through. they have some crazy problems and just hearing them rant about it gives me a sense of my-god-this-dude-is-screwed feeling.

and i wanna get paid with more than a hundred dollars for being a hole digger just now. i mena seriously.

ciao (:

2008-11-10T21:15:00.001-08:00

"while I recall all the words you spoke to me
can't help but wish that I was there
back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

dear god, the only thing i ask of you
is to hold her when im not around
when im much too far away.
we all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
and now I wish I'd stayed
'cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
i'm missing you again, oh no
Once again"

2008-11-10T20:10:00.000-08:00

i went through the old photographs that i found during the cleaning process of the living room. i realized that i was very enthusiastic in taking pictures with all the stupid poses like power rangers , old school hairstyle (i started wearing gel in primary one!), my previously skinny dad and freaking cute siblings when they were three or four. also, it was a huge reminisce of old times with my grandparents.

i saw the photos of my late grandmothers, both my dad and mom's side, and my late grandfather. it's really amazing what you can find out on photographs. i found out that i inherited my nose from my insanely attitude late grandfather who's very msucular, my sepet eyes from my grandmother of my dad's side and my eyebrows from my late grandmother from my mom's side. sadly, it's only facial features that you can determine and not the behaviour or characteristics now that they're gone. it makes you appreciate the deceased and any senior citizens you see around.

i remembered my grandfather who's truly a pain. i heard from my dad he's as stucked up as i am but a little more messed up -.- sheesh. things can really go crazy with him being the star. all my aunts and uncles complain and complain but when he's really gone, it's gonna haunt them big time. old people are suppose to be mean and grumpy i think. my grandfather is an example. and as much as this sounds gay, i love him and he's one cool grandad.

2008-11-06T04:32:00.000-08:00

i haven't got the chance to update properly these days.sorry people. training's been tiring, junior volleyball matches here and there. (which i think is very redundant since we had very few trainings to buck us up and considering the fact that we are shuffled into the group of death). very mundane and dull. much needed rest now and zomg it's the holidays.

class chalet was awesome. credits to all for making it nice. i wouldn't have wanted to spend the day with anyone else. oh, mr wong and mr fadz too. they made it more fun. no regrets, no nothing. maybe because it was a busy week. i think it's really just a 5-day volleyball training thing, to make everything fly by silly.

so yeah, i'm gonna eat more as i need more meat on me. and return to the gym to boost me up.spend more time with my family and continue my progress with whatever im pursuing now (eherm). there you go. next week's gonna be pretty crazy for me. looks like this year holidays gonna be wasted again i guess. not that im not used to.

2008-10-27T19:42:00.000-07:00

"I love the way you smile,
I love the way you flare up in the air,
I love the way you show that you care,
and the way you are always there.

I just want to know the reason why
did the the stars fell out of the sky
my tears rolled into the ocean,
still, you make my world go into motion
i can't just look and turn away
cos' my name is carved into your heart
and so it will stay
and so it will stay"

okay i'm not sure this is the chorus or what but i'm making my own lyrics to create a song. holidays mah.

2008-10-27T19:30:00.000-07:00

to all my hindu friends, HAPPY DEEPAVALI!
may you all be blessed with prosperity and good health. (;

(ignore the ridiculous toy at the side -.-)

2008-10-23T06:18:00.000-07:00

let's just say today was a great way to end my sec 2 life (my short pants). it was fun and i know i'm gonna miss that darned class. again, i would like to mention that all of you in 2/1 had actually credited yourselves into my heart. you guyz enjoyed yourself today at badminton right? don't worry, more badminton outings are coming up to instill the sporty spirit within you guys. like mrs lim said, mr wong is also the lighthouse that guided our way through the rough and stormy seas. and......ummm i think i got something on my eye -.-

here are the photos alright (; :

2008-10-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

okay today was awesome. i really enjoyed myself to the fullest extent. a lot of things happened today and i love the class photo-taking part. hahaha we literally did some ass-whooping to each other just to take a picture. i hanged out with sally too for most of the time after watching the hilarious drama performance by ATC. we walked around aimlessly and decided to watch anderson's got talent. we actually missed the beginning part but the finale was awesome performed by mr eu and mr najib. (praveena extra!) then yadda yadda went back to class and did a class activity which is writing some positive stuffs to your friends in the group. saw that everyone wrote some comments that made me reconcile my thoughts after the whole activity.
big thank you to all the people for the priceless comments that nearly (emphasise: NEARLY) brought me into tears. the sincerity was the thing that got me moved. suddenly everyone went chaotic taking pictures with each other like some celebrities that si ying cannot take her eyes off hahaha. one final class photo and yeah had a class lunch at kfc. sorry that i left early cos i had training la. had training which was fun and tiring and after that i had no energy left for the day.

shagness to the core. enjoy the photos:

2008-10-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

"The time on the clock reads half past four;
I'm wide awake and thinking
With my pillow on the floor
That maybe I'm just wasting my time dreaming
In a harsh reality
I don't wanna wake up just to find out
I've been deceived...

Stay awake
Get a grip and get out,
Your safe from the weight of the world
Just take a second to set things straight
I'll be fine
Even though i'm not always right
I can count on the sun to shine
The dedication takes a lifetime
But dreams only last for a night"

2008-10-21T05:03:00.000-07:00

right, demoralising stuff.let bygones be bygones. no use being unhappy with your results. i can see i did improve but i guess i'm still not good enough. beside my dismay due to my lacklustre performance and my stupidity, im very sad that it's two more days. the leadership workshop today wasn't bad but it could have been done better. the anderson world records was very enjoyable and we so called scored the highest in the trampoline and skipping section. overall, we did pretty well. then zakrie said something that smacked right to my face, " don't you feel elated that these are our last achievements?" really, it gives you the crazy sober feeling. emotional. you've heard about it and now it's happening. funny.

2/1 has just been the funnest rollercoaster ride that i have had the privelege of being on. its the kind that, at the end, you wish you didn't have to leave your seat and once you get off you'd rush back into the queue. it was interesting talking about our past and have a reminisce of our nerdy, playful and immatured self. we realized many of us are struggling while most are doing well and we constantly contribute each others' support to one another. we're a very bonded class and i don't think any other class would be as fun and warm as 2/1. our indivdual achievements are also the class achievements. i've learnt alot. and don't forget about tony wong. his care and concern shaped the way our class looked like. he's our favourite teacher and i know that we're his favourite class.

i would especially like to thank these people for participating the rollercoaster ride in the two years with me:

abduRAWRman, anju banana, arvin kumar, carey, si ying, the gay: zhuo sheng, yan ting, dai qian, deepakrishna, fool bei ying, tian ning dynamite, harshie, jacky kang, ivan carpet, pervertic larry, boon how the gentleman, lee pei yan, kenny, panda adriel, kay hwee, xin ying, hady, nadz, hx, anees superrrrman, lekhahahaha, seli aliyani, colleen, si ting, punkish gerald, timothy moey, toktoktok sweehwa, wania, shao xuan bamboo, kevin cactus , zakrie manap, clara nonie and don't forget about vivi. XD okay i might as well say the whole class. but this is sincere!

though now that 2/1 is a sad phantom of the past, i wanna say thank you again for every breathing moment i had with you all. (;

with utmost love,
fadzly.

time is forever changing, it'll be okay.

2008-10-15T06:01:00.000-07:00

the convex mirror

aqilah, atiqah and me near compass point

and there's abdu fetching us from the bus-stop

the boys having our prayers at abdu's place

at hidhir's place

the three pakciks

at firdaus's place

big fadz looking macho

this is one of the 'artistically' taken photos by aqilah

tok haji dan abdu.

mdm suzy's place

mdm suzy and her daughter, tiara

tiara (;

yesterday's raya visitings ended up with us being pregnant the next day. im not a pervet, our stomach's bloated because of food overload mind you! the planning was rather poor and hectic.and the long distance and time caused us 12 hours after 8 houses.nevertheless, i had one helluva fun with you guys. (:(:(:(: thx for visiting too. clockwise direction: me, abdu, fridaus, hafiz, zakrie, seri, izzah, atiqah and aqilah

2008-10-12T01:11:00.000-07:00

gonna totally burn this weekend. world cup qualifiers, play guitar, gymming, volleyball, raya visitngs with friends . on another note, i managed to do some visiting. well, after today it was like 9 house visits in total this eid. and i realized that i don't like the routined procedure of going to one house, talk cock, leave and proceed to another. i mean if you wanna do some serious catching up, you should limit yourself to a maximum of two houses per day rather then going to a dozen houses at once. and i would like to bond more with my distant relatives since i only see them once in a year.

i can't sleep, because of godknowswhy, post-exam stress perhaps, social craps and constant dwelling on circumstances. i'll be frank: it's bothering me a lot. regrets again

hope tomorrow's training will let my mind set off things awhile. with exams done and over with, i have one huge burden off my chest. now i have my self-satisfying motive for the time being. so the hunt begins! whooo!

never be replaced.

2008-10-10T21:38:00.000-07:00

the clock's counting down. i'm officially freaking scared of my results. it will be a downward spiral to misery when school reopens. haiz, now my mood is dampened. thanks ah. hmph

2008-10-06T00:03:00.000-07:00

okay so i haven't been updating properly these days because of exams and raya visitings. which reminds me, the need to declare that ramadhan had been a period of grace and goodwill for me but still i still think i had not done enough to celebrate this winning spirit.nevertheless, aidilfitri is here.yeah, so im taking this opportunity to sincerely apologise for being a pain to your buttocks. forgive me as i'm only 'fadzly'. (; photos will be uploaded once my dad reaches home.

oh and about EOYs, confidence is sky high but anything can happen right? and i sometimes regurgitate during the exams which is bad. aiye okay shan't elaborate more on that so i won't spoil the mood.

anyways, the change in mindset is surprising. the realisation of it left me astonished.when the azan of the morning aidilfitri prayers came up, i was all emotional cuase i was left in bewilderment. wondering about things.astonishment, really.

Selamat Hari Raya/ Eid Mubarak !

2008-09-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

The lights out,I still hear the rain,
These images that fill my head,
Now keep my fingers from making mistakes,
Tell my voice what it takes,
To speak up,
Speak up,
and keep my conscience clear when I wake.

I've never told a lie,
and that makes me a liar,
I've never made a bet,
but we gamble with desire,
I've never lit a match,
with intent to start a fire,
but recently the flames,
are getting out of control.
Call me a name,
Kill me with words,
Forget about me,
It's what I deserve.

i guess this is what i deserve in the end

sorry people. too serious and stress la.

2008-09-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

ramadan. a seemingly long fasting period.For Muslims, it is a time to reflect on ones actions and deeds throughout the year It is a time to ask for forgiveness as the festive season draws near. Bringing people closer together in cities all over the world.The sighting of the moon, observed with sincere feelings from the heart filled with joy and excitement. i guess i sincerely did most of my part as a muslim during this holy month. Alhamdulillah

Selamat Hari Raya Puasa to the Muslim community.May you be blessed with success, prosperity and good health. May you continue to bond closer with all races in Singapore. Amin

2008-09-24T02:37:00.000-07:00

i am all about coffee these days. study time is extended and it is miraculously working. glad with stuff and i thank god for all there is for me in the future. i just hope things turn out well for me soon. of course, the hardwork and the determination must be there but what the heck. it has been such a glorious week, really.

oh, yesterday was fun, people. thanks a lot on that too. would like to wish everyone out there the very best of luck in your EOY exams and score high like soaring to greater heights. (:

the eternal flame.

2008-09-15T05:25:00.000-07:00

today was simply great. i'm smiling for nuts. the day is just indescribable. thank you, lord! i really wish i could have more of today's experience. boy, am i feeling so joyfully good! it's the 15th day of ramadhan and my malay friends are starting to spark off the raya mood already. i hope we can 'raya' together.

i think i love bands with female vocalists. that idea strucked me when i had a conversation with my bro. maybe it turns me on. maybe. examples? paramore, hey monday and the hush sound. okay, i only have three on my mind. there are more i guess.

jason mraz. the local radio aired his single 'lucky'. a little too slow, really. i've been listening to that wicked song since late august this year. one of the many excellent soundtracks in the album 'We Sing ,We Dance,We Steal things'.

things are a little bumpy nowadays. i am basically tired with what is going on around me. studied hard just now. it has been awhile i think.

gravity.

2008-09-11T06:42:00.000-07:00

i think i need steroids.

okay, i'm pretty busy these days. this week has been especially tiring and i kinda slacked for everything. my assignments are loaded and yes, i have not been updating.

right, i can't even remember the sequence of scenarios that happened these past few days. all i know is that it has been pretty hectic even without volleyball.i need a new set of grease to let my hinges move freely - and fast.some angels. at least something.i need to fill the vast amount of empty head of mine. weird day today. the course of the day surprised myself positively. but yeah, it's all too darned good to be true. what was really freaky was that a couple of people wanted to give their seats to me in the bus. that never happened before. maybe i looked jaded.

nothing major lately so yeah, gonna end here. love y'all.

patience is the key.

2008-09-06T00:41:00.000-07:00

"this is what i look like today
and i'm trying not to pull out my hair
i'm trying not to grow it cause i'm far too shy to show it back there
that's probably why i like wearing hats
there's no denying i'm deferring the facts
avoiding confrontation
lacks tact in a situation
behind every line is a lesson yet to learn

but if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is overwhelming
and oh it goes to show
i've so much to know

i wrote this for my prettiest friend
but while trying not to prove that i care
i was trying not to make all my moves in one motion and scare her away
well she can't see she's making me crazy now
i don't believe she knows she's amazing how
she has me holding my breathe
so i'd never guess that i'm a none such unsuitable, suitable for her

but if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is complimentery
and oh it goes to show
the moral of the story is boy loves girl
and so on but the way it unfolds is yet to be told

i know that i should be brave
even pretty can be seen by the blind
i know that i cannot wait
until the day we finally learn how to find each other
redefining open minds

and if you ask me
the feeling that i'm feeling is overjoyed
and it's golden, it goes to show then
the ending of this song should be left alone
and so on cause the way it unfolds is yet to be told"

and the lyrics of the song currently repeating in my computer. finally i have a chance to indulge in the perfect scenario, ignoring the reality check smacked on the forehead of mine time after time.

"until the day we finally learn how to find each other"

2008-09-04T07:12:00.000-07:00

i tell you, this is genious stuff. i thought they are like those who are going the way of the black hip hop groups but not only that they have incredible talent and definitely living outside the box. it's going to be a kickass trend if gangsters are like having violin-playoffs on street corners instead of rap battle. haha

2008-09-02T03:15:00.000-07:00

here are the ripcurl beach volleyball tournament pictures. enjoy

here we are being monkeys like we always do.

presenting to you the people that participated. omg look how big my singlet is!

us supporting the other teams

some flying object thingy

Alps Quaters. (i have no idea why is that my team name)

service. i think i scored an ace from this one.

i find this picture very cute. (wai kit, justin)

me , jaslyn,darkened Mr Fadzly and sharmini

yeah from here you can see how tanned i am.

cost of wen jie, wei xuan and timothy being silly: $0.00

hey it's not always to fine me take pictures of myself hehehe

due to some unforseen circumstances and time constraint, i managed to upload only these. i partly enjoyed myself there (emphasise: PARTLY). i wanted to buy vanilla ice cream but too expensive! my team was the only team that qualified to the next round.yeeehaw! due to walkovers haha yeah so we were doomed at the knockout stages. quite expected. the whole event looked quite disorganised.but hey, not being it the first time participated. from now i seriously need to get back on track. as in seriously! haha ciao.

2008-09-02T02:26:00.001-07:00

"To let true love remain unspoken is the quickest route to a heavy heart."

2008-09-02T01:27:00.000-07:00

first day of Ramadhan down, 29 more days to go. life's so restricted and i'll always be guilt-strickened if i don't do anything encouraged.there you go. i know, during this holy and glorious month, the ramadhan cometh with great opportunities in hand, for muslims to repent, to be devout, to appreciate and try to heighten the family bond at the build up of syawal. i'm not that religious however, and in a very massively ironic way, i'd like to experience laylatul qadr, the divine experience that'll give you anything you desire on that holy night. supposedly only saints or religious people will attain the experience and yours truly, is (what i think) far from the status of these people.

today was a good day with a good book and a good weather to enjoy isolation at it's very best.

haiya, this is irritating. my thumbdrive is screwed with virus and i can't seem to upload the ripcurl beach vb pics. sorry. -.-

something was and is still duly amiss. please wait.

2008-08-30T20:44:00.000-07:00

a short sumary cos i'm still very tired

the term is finally over!
teacher's day was fantastic!
2/1 will always miss vivian
my ex-classmates are the whackiest bunch of people
competed in the ripcurl beach volleyball tournament yesterday
ate dinner on the roof of vivocity
i need a proper tan
i'm desperately in need of soccer
i'm desperately in need of vanilla ice-cream
i've not been sleeping well
i'm extremely tired

okay first things first. teacher's day was obviously awesome. all in all, the day went great and i managed to get my hands on those juicy apples even though i was not involved in aces day. haha the concert was fine. i cannot judge as i was the emcee. (xiu hui, praveena and kunating were very good).the audience were great and the teachers were engaged throughout.then celebrated teacher's day with the council teachers. all the teachers were very touched especially mrs cheong. ASC's effort were finally paid off with style. mr kamal also mentioned that this is the best teacher's day in 13 years of teaching history. hahha

oh yea, carmina looked damn cool with her 'storm' outfit.

get a very different feeling whenever i step into a new territory in singapore. like the west side of singapore, say example choa chu kang, has a pretty relaxed feeling to it. i just don't know why. the work attachment thingy gave me a chance to experience all the difference. maybe it's all the stress of life that i usually spend most of the time at are usually at the east side or at the north side of singapore or maybe after deborah, everything seemed pretty nice and relaxed by the west. seriously, i don't mind slacking at the west, at perhaps choa chu kang or bukit gombak or bedok just to keep my mind off stuff.

photos of the ripcurl volleyball tournament will be up soon. and to seri, anjana and those who were involved in making the video, you guyz did great (:

2008-08-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

i so need to get back on the track and get back to the gym and stop with the chocolate donuts.

losing the abs is so not cool lor. (haha!)

"On this day its so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel Chance to feel alive

Fear will kill me, all I could be
Lift these sorrows
Let me breathe,could you set me free
Could you set me free"

aaaah, finally something mezmerising to listen.

2008-08-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

okay so usain bolt just won the 100m gold olympic gold medal and breaking his own record in 9.69s. haha it's like an average person walking 10 steps? no wonder he's nicknamed 'lightning'. respect to the fastest man in the world i tell you.

"it's in our hands"

2008-08-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

little big dreams

i was watching it during my breakfast. the film is about children from china as young as 3-years old who have given up everything to just become a gymnast. and they left their parents to go to a faraway boarding school to pursue their dream, the olympic dream. they are so young that some of them doesnt know how to tie their shoe laces. it also shows why the parents want to sacrifice their children's childhooda and what motivated them and such. it's quite touching to see where their destinies lie after years of hard, torturous training to join the national gymnastics squad at a tender age. okay, i shall never complain about mr fadzly's tough physical training and i'm glad he doesn't use a cane to force us. the film will catch u straight to the heart.

one thing that got me thinking is this:

"when children grow up with their parents, they tend to be lazy." yes, that's one of the reason, parents send them to a sports school.

views anyone?

look. no. further.

the start of epl. no more boring weekends!

and i want to participate in the charity run, dad!

2008-08-15T07:01:00.000-07:00

okay so the olympics have started with an uplifting ceremony that boosted the athlete's morale and such and everyday dreams are made that boasts their superiority in the games. yea, i've been updating myself with all the news about the upcoming games. let's see....

Soccer

well, the olympics is not really prioritise by the big soccer clubs as criticised that it's a waste of time. anyways, the olympics is every youngster's dream to participate. besides, it's good to groom them for competitive international football. brazil and argentina are favourties for their fluid football and so check it out!

Volleyball

obviously, i must watch this and even though it's somehow useless to learn their techniques cos the players are freaking tall and well-built , i just observe their mentality and attitude towards a big game. again, brazil volleyballers are my hot favorites as they are seriously very good and opponents cringes at the sight of the team. watch italy,cuba and russia too!

Swimming

at first i wasn't that interested until i read about michael phelps. he's like an amphibian lar.maybe a human torpedo. his body is suited to swimming. long hands and torsos. his large feet can help him thrust forward like nobody's business. he's currently at his 6th gold medal. and teh excting part is he's aiming to beat mark spitz all time olympic record. woah jia lat, born olympian man. check out crocker from the usa to challenge him. oh yea congrats to tao li for giving her best.

Badminton

hah so ronald susilo lost after being thumped by lee chong wei from malaysia. cannot blame him, he's world 32nd and chong wei is 2nd. so it's very tough. will be watching my favourites, lin dan of china and taufik hidayat of indonesia. i bet they will be in the final again! whoo!

Table tennis

the singapore team managed to scrapped through to the finals. woah so cool man, finally a medal from singapore. jia you guyz!

Athletics

oh my god. the sprinters are back! the most highly-anticipated event has come, the men's 100m final. it will be the three fastest men in the world who cannot stand each other and just dash their way to the gold. they're starting their mind games already so whoever has a stronger mentality wins.expect to spring some surprises. read up about other events alright

well, the olympics are just as exciting as ever. imagine the pride to represent the country. can learn a lot of sportsmanship and fair play by the athletes.and it's not just about winning, it's also uniting the whole word together. hah till next time. (;

"there's a full cold moon tonight"

2008-08-12T06:33:00.000-07:00

"Nights turn to days,
Darkness into sunlight,
Noticing she would wake and leave in the middle of the night,
Telling her to stay that there is no day but today,
Shutting the door and never seeing her anymore,
Fearing the dream I might have tonight,
Where is the inspiration from your shining light?"

~ ~ Missing her ~~

"Come back to me, come back to me.
I will bring you far away and set you free."

i seriously demand for mr zaki's song.

2008-08-08T22:02:00.000-07:00

warning: a poisonous toxin has breached the vicinity. all students please take refuge inside the classroom. i repeat, this is nto a drill. implement the ipp strategy

aaaaah we're gonna die!! (panic in the classroom)

never mind, we have ivan and abdu to save the day.

with arvin, zhuo sheng and anees acting macho

dey! we are going to die! why look so happy?

everyone gasping for comfort. (ivan despo already)

mr wong trying to keep things under control and calm.

boon how got uncontrollable constipation that the boys need to carry him to the toilet.

oh no! zakrie got contaminated!

arvin using his 'special treatment'. the dreaded CPR. (by the time arvin was about to use it, zakrie retained consciousness when he smelt arvin's horrible breath)

arvin trying to do his ritual to ensure zakrie's recovery. and also provide some entertainment for the people (:

attn: to avoid any contact with the toxin, you have to take a class photo together.

woooo 2/1! (mind the dead bodies at the front)

wait! i'm not contaminated! why are you guys carrying me? noooo!

let's jus say yesterday rock socks. haha and yeah, have a great weekend.

2008-08-05T04:19:00.001-07:00

apart from the scorching afternoon that probably got me roasted after lots of endurance and burst running during physical training, there was this:

"The flashbacks keep coming
Like a train that never stops running
Some things have to be forgotten
And others just remain regrettable
Confidence keeps fighting to conquer all fears
The clocks keep ticking and the calendar pages keep flipping
Isn't there a pause button anywhere to be found?
The good times became a person we have learned to disengage
Unwelcome feelings uncontrollably invade our hearts
Sometimes those memorable events we regret were just chances waiting to be taken
These memories keep coming down to nothing but apathy
And it's all because life just runs its own track. "

i'm jaded.

2008-07-29T06:31:00.000-07:00

who's your daddy??

today's our napfa test for the five stations.and two shots of the sweet strawberries.one of which i enjoyed so much.

standing broad jump-232cm
sit and reach-39cm(T.T)
inclined pull-up -40
shuttle run-8.95secs
Sit-ups - 50

4 As and 1 C

hah, pride never look so good.just bow down to me already hahaha

2008-07-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

we own the whole intiation manz.'welcome to the YMC family, sec 1s'. i appreciate the efforts that were put by the student facilitators for organizing the initiation at the arts house. met great individuals over there. looking forward to get associated with them.in charge of AV was fun, can play with all the lights and turn it into a concert. still, i am tired. exhausted. drained. till next time. thx sally for the photos (:

haziq. muhammad, asyraf, izhar performing their ritual with madonna's 4 mintues

the four dudes with their skit.

the language translation button.

mr masagos giving his speech.
candle lights. i was trying to switch it off and turn the whole room into darkness
facis leading d cheers

ooooh aaaaah liiiights.

sec 1s having refreshments

danish, idris and muhammad peforming ine republic's apologise

danish and muhammad, the emcees.

2008-07-22T07:03:00.000-07:00

aqilah extraaaa. hah
my shoes.

ASC 2008!
Ex-co people!

the complete gays in my class. (arvin, me and zakrie)

anjana arvin(d) so compatible right?

brothers ( ah du, ah fadz, ah pak)

aiye, okay let's have a vote who looks better with arvin?(tian ning)
the other gays in my class (larry, adriel)

woah larry wanna jump seh...

me and abdu. (who looks better?)

the forver vibrant 2/1

the forever vibrant 2/1! part 2 (go figure what they said)

it's taupok time!

haha, guess who's at the bottom?

here are the RHD photos. enjoy (: beep me if want more. ciao!

2008-07-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

getting a reply from her was necessary. i guess everything is fine between us. but really, i would never want anything shitty to happen ever again. period. i'll be honest, i won't see things related to her ever the same again. somebody tried to shoot me and i'm not totally happy about it. maybe time will heal everything.

oh yeah, the burning desire seems to be diminishing. questions and questions appear but it's pretty sick. i guess it's those scenarios where things come and go. the first supposed rampage turned peaceful and disappeared soon enough. things are gonna repeat again, won't it?

weird and tiring day today. the course of the day surprised myself positively. but yeah, it's all too darned good to be true.

"And some people fight,
And some people fall,
Others pretend,
They don't care at all,
If you wanna fight,
I'll stand right beside you,
The day that you fall,
I'll be right behind you,
To pick up the pieces,
If you don't believe me,
Then just look into my eyes,
Cause the heart never lies"

2008-07-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

what was i thinking? what was i doing? i need better clues. and hints. demoralizing event. i guess i'm psychologically weak. repercussions to a scenario really snowballed to make the rest of the day bad. so fuck. somewhere and somehow, i'd try to figure out a sign from God. but really, it's pretty vague. one occurance can mean a thousand things.

but i realized that i've been very bad to my siblings. mum talked some senses to me. i was a bit vexed to a huge extent. still, i couldn't actually rebel against my understanding mam, now can i? i think i put too much pressure on my siblings and i'm kinda like a big bully towards them. but that's what big brothers do, right? the world isn't always fair. and i kinda did my part at home so i deserve the power that i have. lol.

"you shot me down as i flew by..."

2008-07-12T06:26:00.000-07:00

i'm simply......

JADED.

the week was wrecked.

the wound hurts.

body aches.

life is dull.

oh and she? she's just excellent. in my dreams especially.

"who says that there's love surrounding me? only sorrow sank deep inside me. time makes me closer to reality. and i don't want it."

2008-07-07T06:51:00.001-07:00

"I see you fading away from us.
I'll miss you very much.
Room with empty bottles,
broken dreams,
and pride still running high,
always on your side.

But I wanted more for you.
You can't go on this way.
And now I see it all fall through.
We pray for better days."

2008-07-02T05:56:00.001-07:00

a fitting finale for my mates after today's win against clementi town. i'm still down because of our early exit from the nationals. but it's okay, i brushed the matter aside and we held our heads high. mr fadzly showed us moral support and his motivation really helps. he treated us pizza and sent me and justin home. woah, freaking cool manz. i tell you he rocks.

to justin, larry, hidhir, wen jie, wisely, dean, yi kai, yu xiang, kevin, ming en, waikit,

though our journey ahve ended, it's a new beginning (like duh) let's osar to greater heights shall we? (:

2008-07-02T05:54:00.000-07:00

the temptation's overwhelming but i'm pursuing something futile.

no more.

2008-07-01T06:46:00.000-07:00

look familiar? yea that's william gallas, the team captain of arsenal fc. the picture of disappointment after the final whistle. it reflects a lot of things to today's game. sigh, it's like the chance is there for the taking and it slipped from our hands. how unlucky. so unlucky. we should have ignited our engine and settle our nerves as fast as possible. yes, we're facing defending national champions st hilda's sec and we create pressure to them that we were almost winning the ever-thrilling match. 21-25, well not a bad scoreline but to me it is just wasted and pride is gone. plus i'm having low confidence and motivation in recent weeks. but i managed to have some comfort. i'm glad we are able to play in style and show how anderson volleyballers play. stern warning to other school i would say. though this journey might end, i'm satisfied enough to tatse a little bit of victory. AVB C Boys 2008 manz

2008-06-28T21:21:00.000-07:00

When evening in the Shire was grey
his footsteps on the Hill were heard;
before the dawn he went away
on journey long without a word.

From Wilderland to Western shore,
from northern waste to southern hill,
through dragon-lair and hidden door
and darkling woods he walked at will.

With Dwarf and Hobbit, Elves and Men,
with mortal and immortal folk,
with bird on bough and beast in den,
in their own secret tongues he spoke.

A deadly sword, a healing hand,
a back that bent beneath its load;
a trumpet-voice, a burning brand,
a weary pilgrim on the road.

A lord of wisdom throned he sat,
swift in anger, quick to laugh;
an old man in a battered hat
who leaned upon a thorny staff.

He stood upon the bridge alone
and Fire and Shadow both defied;
his staff was broken on the stone,
in Khazad-dûm his wisdom died.

one of my favourite lord of the rings poems.

"At length a silence fell, and they heard the music of the waterfall running sweetly in the shadows."

2008-06-28T21:11:00.000-07:00

"Distanced a hundred days
Hearts closed for each other
Better off in parted ways
Distinct to come together

Hearts closed for each other
The memories let drifted
Distinct to come together
Estranged and far separated

The memories let drifted
Forgetting the old tears
Estranged and far separated
Changes through the years

Forgetting the old tears
Making newfound memories
Changes through the years
Soon erasing our stories

Making newfound memories
Lately it's somewhat clear
Soon erasing our stories
We've moved on, my dear"

angel from the nightmare.

2008-06-24T03:57:00.000-07:00

"and i'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home."

2008-06-21T03:52:00.000-07:00

"i had the one of the best dream yesterday, and i wish i had that telepathic connection."

2008-06-21T01:32:00.000-07:00

okay so it was my usual jogging session at the park (and i thank God for my performance because i can feel my fitness back up again). during the jog, i saw a foreign worker, possibly a sri lankan, sitting on one of the benches. i was surprised that he was still there when i was heading home. i walked past him and seeing him forlorn and alone really got me thinking. he came here to earn some money for his family, in a place foreign to him, working his ass off at the expense of his life because there he was on a saturday morning without the comfort of his family when he goes home because he would probably be sleeping in a container or something. i swear, if i were to be in his shoes, i wouldn't last a day. the scene was so depressing that it was ironically picture perfect with him sitting alone on the bench made of marble, cross-legged, staring down, showing solitary at it's best. one might wonder what was in his mind. life certainly is hard.

so yesterday, i went to watch a play called 'temple'. it's quite weird and retarded. the plot is too complex that ms lee only understood 20% of it. anyways, i think i manage to get a rough idea .there were seven characters, escaping from the corruption or fear of the outside world.and they were like seeking refuge and having shelter in a sports hall.not really sure whether it is abandoned. they shut the doors to prevent the corruption from the outside world from entering. they claimed that the hall became it's sanctuary and assumed they have gained immunity. but in the end, they were just desperate despairing people unsettled in the place. so in the end, they open the doors as the corruption exist in their own bodies. so really, very confusing.]

school's starting and i'm dreading it terribly. nationals starting and i cannot wait to play. hah, who am i kidding?

2008-06-21T01:17:00.000-07:00

"I never meant the things I said
To make you cry
Can I say I'm sorry?
It's hard to forget
And yes I regret
All these mistakes
I don't know why you're leaving me
But I know you must have your reasons
There's tears in your eyes
I watch as you cry
But it's getting late

And everything I feel for you
I wrote down on one piece of paper
The one in your hand
You won't understand
How much it hurts to let you go

Was I invading in on your secrets?
Was I too close for comfort?
You're pushing me out
When I'm wanting in
What was I just about to discover
When I got too close for comfort
Driving you home
Guess I'll never know"

i'll be okay and strong my ass la. -.-

2008-06-16T06:01:00.000-07:00

"he was breathing hard as he tells himself that that should be enough for that day. he stood up and went for a bath. as he faced the shower cap, closed his eyes and waited for that cold smack of h20 to meet his face and hair. it was freedom - for him at least. his head was empty. in the middle of the night, on the stool he sat, moving nothing. no, he was not depressed. not at all sad. this is the case of individual blankness and the further realization of nothingness of life. he did not point the finger at anyone nor he blame his significant other. perhaps he was confused by things around him.his thoughts diverted to how can it be hard when things are done as simple as that? well, he realised not everybody thinks it's easy. he ignored his mind debating with himself.he just chuckled, ha-ha. he fell to his bed and his brain switched on. he just couldn't sleep and suddenly considered the pride and value of self-importance. yea, he is very confused.however, nothing was wrong with him."

.
.
.
.
.

yeah, so i had a date with hwa chong for a volleyball friendly. we lost 3-1. bleargh. the scores were tight and it was a fairly good game i suppose. we were'nt serious enough and didn't make full use of the chances. haiz.the pressure is on for nationals and i can see we go through to the top 8. jia you guyz. do it for the chalet and bankrupt mr singh. lols.

euro 2008 is very enjoyable and i can relate a lot of games for our upcoming nationals.i'm rooting for underdogs like croatia and turkey but holland and spain currently looked the better bet for the trophy.i love most of the matches. the players all have passion and fire, play great pride and emotion.to those non-football fans, i recommend to watch some of the matches. i can learn alot from them.

and finally, to larry's hand, rest in peace. XD

2008-06-14T21:55:00.001-07:00

"the lad seemed to be running in circles. it was his way of killing time. the actual fact though, was dead set on the table: he wanted to make himself feel excellent. there was no other way he could waste his life off.

2008-06-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

i couldn't sleep yesterday night. not being able to sleep brings about thoughts which in turn, brings about realization. there is this certain conception that i will always be be stuck in the middle of everything i aspire for. that i can never reach for the highest no matter how hard i try. the realization of the fact that there is so much i can do, so limited, that i will never succeed even though i've tried my hardest. i've never been the person who takes risks. i think if you don't take risks in life, you probably won't succeed or achieve what you aspire for. when i say 'risks', i don't mean the heck care kind of risks, those insignificant financial risk-taking nonsense. i'm talking about life-changing risks. the kind of risks that you take to achieve your dream at the expense of something else so ordinary but at the same time, valuable. like,crap everything else that is the norm and go crazy, the rockstar kind of risks where he cashes everything he owns to make it big kind of risks. if you fail and lose everything, then be it, tough luck. you have to lose to learn how to win. the learn-from-your-mistakes bullcrap which is invariably true to a certain extent. that's the problem with me essentially. i'm afraid of failing so much so that i tend to stay in my comfort zone.

2008-06-14T08:33:00.000-07:00

haiz singapore lost 2-0 to saudi arabia-.- but i guess singapore did pretty well against an arabian side with bulky players. well, good luck with the rest of the matches.

2008-06-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

hakim is one crazy fella. apart from being insanely religious, he told me that he has days, approximately one day from the time i'm posting this now, to live. i had a long and decent chat with him with the idea of convincing him that all those i-have-a-few-days-to-live issues are crap and are mere paranoia.

he asked me on what i would personally do if i had two days to live. i gave out the supposedly correct answers; bid my mates farewell, spend time with family, chionging religiously, yadda yadda yadda.

and then, he shot out something that got me thinking:"dude, if, by your religious understanding, you don't know when you will die, heck you might even die in an hour's time, why don't you do what you plan to do if you had two days to live NOW?"

i'm not exactly mister religious but this dude really made sense. we procrastinate in our daily dealings in life especially in the way we practice our religion. we don't know for sure when our expiry date is but we act like we have millions of years to go. should there be a true entity (well i know there is), why don't we strive to try to impress?

curses to the devil.as for hakim, i really hope he doesn't die as he predicted. i really think it has got to do with the heavy music he listens to.

rihanna doesn't talk about death, now does she?

2008-06-08T06:09:00.000-07:00

I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.

hehehe, sweet inspiration.

2008-06-07T02:01:00.000-07:00

oh boy, i miss her.her her her. in the mean time feast your eyes on the pictures. negeri sembilan was,well, fun.
the sun sets, but my love still rises for you.

me and my bro by the fouintain

view from the hotel room.

riding the bike around the resort.

thinking of you under lunarlight .

F+ F (;

i wonder what you've been doin in singapore...?

holy water...

anybody wanna get anything(although i can't promise getting EVERYTHING)? anyways, bought very little amount of souvenirs. sorry to some of my mates if i did not get y'all any. i have my priorities to some people. after this trip, i kinda get the feeling that i'm not the travelling buff. in fact, i kinda dread it for some obvious reasons. there are more pictures actually but yeah, laters.

2008-06-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

"Grumbling all the while, Hoshino hesitantly opened the door of the shrine, and Colonel Sanders shone his torch inside. Sure enough, there was an old round stone inside. Just like Nakata said, it was about the size of a big rice cake, a smooth white stone.

"This is it?" Hoshino asked.

"That's right," Colonel Sanders said. "Take it out."

"Hold on a minute. That's stealing."

"No matter. Nobody's going to notice if a stone like this is missing. And nobody'll care."

"Yeah, but the stone is owned by God right? He's going to be pissed off if we take it out."

Colonel Sanders folded his arms and stared straight at Hoshino. "What is God?"

The question threw Hoshino for a moment.Colonel Sanders pressed him further. "What does God look like, and what does He do?"

"Don't ask me. God's God. He's everywhere, watching what we do, judging whether it's good or bad."

"Sounds like a football referee."

"Sort of, I guess."

"So God wears shorts, has a whistle sticking out of His mouth and keeps an eye on the clock?"

"You know that's not what i mean," Hoshino said.

"Are the Japanese God and the foreign God relatives, or maybe just enemies?"

"How should I know?"

"Listen - God only exists in people's minds. Especially in Japan, God's always been kind of a flexible concept. Look at what happened after the war. Douglas MacArthur ordered the divine emperor to quit being God, and he did, making a speech saying he was just an ordinary person. So after 1946 he wasn't a God any more. That's what Japanese gods are like - they can be tweaked and adjusted. Some American chomping on a cheap pipe gives the order and presto change-o - God's no longer God. A very postmodern kind of thing. If you think God's there, He is. If you don't, He isn't. And if that's what God's like, I wouldn't worry about it." "

it reminds me of the motivational talk during council camp.

2008-05-31T22:07:00.000-07:00

(cough, cough)

okay so council camp were two days of fun. really enjoyed it. they didn't disappoint me at all. right, tops on the list of the talk-abouts would be the supposed scandals. who would have guessed that the camp would turn into a dating camp. whatever it is, the conspicuousity of the different couples are seen. hah. *grins* i won't mention names but i think it's kinda sweet to get together.

the amazing race was damn weird. all the tasks are very troublesome but there were some educational values hidden.(well, for some of the tasks.) and i didn't know finding a kid to sing nursery rhymes would be fun. when were at the final task, it rained heavily. so what? no guts no glory. we immediately dashed through the rain when the green man was flashing but when we reached the traffic light, it was red man already. -.- the final task was to help an elderly and made him say thank you. some were very pissed off and reluctant but we have to be patient lor. gerald was like sauntering after the task and we had to drag him along. and my group arrived first la walao. we were the 3rd last to start the race because of some unforseen circumstances (hmph). our hard work really paid off. then was O.T.O.T (own time, own target). played badminton and bathed. then we watched a horror movie called 'boo'. i sat beside zhe shuo and we were discussing where are the links of that scene and this scene, how violent will it become, will the eyes pop out, heads savaged, which organ is that and etc. the plot was kinda cool but still quite cliche.

then we were forced to have lights out. everyone were so dreary to sleep early. i brought chipsmore and passed it around. when the councillors came in, we pretended to sleep. yea, acting was very fun but it's too obvious that we're not asleep. they sat in front of us to check wheher we are really asleep. so i have no choice la that i suddenly went to sleep. in the midst of oblivious dreaming and saliva dripping, i have seriously no idea why the councillors suddenly woke us up by stamping the floor and shouting like nobody's business.i mean, c'mon. i was shirtless and my boxers can be seen la please. ahahaha it was time for the night walk. they stalled us by telling ghost stories and warned about those haunted place and yadda yadda. everyone were anxious and freaked out. so i cracked some silly jokes to fade all those anxiety away. i guess the classroom looked spooky and creepy by the secluded location. i whistled to the tune of frank sinatra's music( which i don't know why) to help cheer up sharmini who was very horrified when i said i saw a figure inside the classroom. the DnT block which was supposdy the scariest part was damn funny. i think sharmini stepped on one of the 'dead bodies' that everyone burst out laughing. then, in the canteen vinod and hafiz were the so called spirits that they threw light sticks at me several times. -.- then we went to the band room and they threw light sticks on my head which was very annoying, disturbing and irritating. they even throw a savaged head at us. waddahell.idiot. after the night walk, people felt that it was lame.

i bonded with the rest talking about the amazing race and nightwalk before going to sleep. the next morning was quite short. we treasure hunt around the school compound. played in different stations and played water bombs. i betrayed alot of people. everything was chaotic.i threw a water bomb at people and claimed someone else did it. so i accidentally started a war as i did that several times. so we took pictures and ran fo our lunch. i miss my group and my night buddies and of course, the organising committee. thanks, guys.

oh, boy. i'm tired. need to re-orientate my sleeping cycle as well. that's it for today. yeah, laters.

2008-05-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

playing pro evoulution soccer 6 with larry is fun when you keep beating him. (:

right. so when it rains, it chills. on another note, i caught the common cold.

i was attempting to damage my lungs by attending my volleyball training.and my dad came unexpectedly to watch me play. -.- but for once, he said " son, i think you are a good volleyball player." that is like something that rarely escapes from his mouth. woah, pride is high.

then he asked me,

"have you ever thought of going to switzerland/austria to watch the soccer european championships?"

" if i had a chance, why?"

" we are going there, this holiday."

"you serious? "

" yeah, but it's only for me and your mom. ahha"

-.-

"yea yea."

" but at least, im bringing you to watch singapore vs bahrain tonight."

(:(:(:

watch the whole match at the kallang stadium. the atmosphere at the stadium was awesome. it was nice to be able to experience the verbally abusive nature of the game again. lost 1-o nil but i think singapore tried their best mostly at the dying moments. a few thousands were watching and they were very euphoric. it's hilarious to hear people hauling vulgarities mixed up with their very own dialects. come second half, i was too stoned to enjoy the match because something was missing.

bloody flu virus that comes and goes. unmanly.

2008-05-24T05:42:00.000-07:00

felt like putting this up. (: she has lovely accent sia.

larry, huixiang and si ying should know who she is. ahaha

"Fingers touching

Breath as one

Hearts in rhythm

We greet the sun

Content, in truth

Just to be

Simply enjoying

You and me"

i am all about time management and volleyball these days. study time is extended and it is miraculously working. glad with stuff and i thank god for all there is for me in the future. oh yea yesterday was fun , team. dinner was great, thanks a lot on that too. i guess you all were so enthusiastic during training.

2008-05-23T06:25:00.000-07:00

ahaha i find this very incredible and unbelievable. quite entertaining too. his name is jalen testerman and he's 6 years old.remember that.i think he is very sweet and adorable. keep it up J styles!

2008-05-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

been wanting to post alot about cip today at toa payoh cc but was too tired when i got home. the mini-concert was awesome ,though the dance was screwed.( sorry, guys :P) haha, 'syiok sendiri' . was losing myself in the music mah but had a little 'rocketship to outer space'. the girl's performance were entertaining and spastically hilarious.seri was like dedicating her performance to arvin's significant( not to mention absorbent and pinkish) hanky. i think she really pull if off well. everything went purrrrrrrrrfeeeectly fine. the finale song i managed to rmember 'kan guo lai, kan guo lai' and mumbled the others. hah. credits to 2/2's performance too. they were supporting us all the way manz. so we bid goodbyes and left. i was so freaking late and am not okay with it. (smirks) we really had no energy left already. sigh. oh wait, there's champions league final tomorrow, ok now high. ahahz. blues all d way. (: )

till then. (;
(pictures and videos WANTED)

2008-05-19T00:44:00.000-07:00

today was suppose to be a good day with a good book and a good tea and a good weather to enjoy isolation at it's very best.turned out otherwise. and the jog was disparaging after my stints. i can seriously feel the declining difference in my fitness.something was and is still duly amiss.

"You look so beautiful today
It's like every time I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay
And I cant lie
Every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face
And I
Cause I just cant take it"

2008-05-17T05:39:00.000-07:00

happy birthday deepakrishna s/o tangarajan!!

though you always taupok me for nothing, you are still my toughest brother. hope you have a great year ahead!

2008-05-16T05:48:00.000-07:00

sigh.results are just a downward spiral to misery. though with 5 As. i think this fiasco is more of an achievement. hah i'm so proud of myself XD

the outcome of soccer training was bad. sprained my ankle that it sounds like a cracked egg but it recovered quickly than expected. the outcome of soccer today was the usual cramps and scored four goals. the team is great and fun so it's all good except for some craps. so everyting else now is kinda crap except of course my heavily anticipated weekend because that's the only thing that keeps me going throughout the week. only then can i do my usual oh-i-think-you-gained-weight or oh-i-think-you-lost-weight thing (but seriously i don't care if you gain or you lose weight because you look good either way).

something has been bugging me and i need to spill all out.

to whom-it-may-concern,

my mates told me that i've changed over a short period of time. it was an almost certain decision on my part: i had to change. to be a loser or to be a winner. now, my morale is up on the high and pride is alive and playing volleyball.

i definitely have something to prove to my family, to my mates, to my teachers and basically to society as a whole. i've picked myself up, armed with new strategies and good to go for my daily dealings. my way of living life might change, might be too extreme even but i have to fulfill it in such a manner because i am desperate for personal satisfaction.

and you can perhaps say that i am in fact craving attention.

so yea that's my part.

2008-05-16T05:40:00.000-07:00

i hope it's mutual, the feelings of sheer warmth and comfort that are shared, because it certainly has been a while since i had any of it.

it's that fuzzy thing flying around in the stomach like blue butterflies.

2008-05-14T05:49:00.000-07:00

*smiles*

i'm feeling: awesome!

today was simply great. training was soooooo fun. didn't expect the degree of greatness of having to smile alot after receiving your results. but MT marks was quite rotten. bleargh...
need to give credits to those who helped me. kinder bueno anyone? thank you, lord! i really wish i could have more of today's experience. boy, am i feeling so joyfully good!

"When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes."

it's sweet inspiration, baby. (;

2008-05-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

"Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong."

apologies for being quiet this few days.i'm sory that i've been neglecting you. but i can keep intact with you through our hearts.

and oh yea, carey's party was great seriously. though i missed all the fun earlier, i did get to eat pizzas and played street soccer. and we went home early 'cause we were damn late, mind you. all else is fun and may u have a great year ahead!

2008-05-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

"Andai kutahu
MalaikatMu kan menjemputku
Izinkan aku
Mengucap kata tobat padaMu

Aku takut
Akan semua dosa dosaku
Aku takut
Dosa yang terus membayangiku

Ampuni aku
Dari segala dosa dosaku
Ampuni aku
Menangisku bertobat padaMu"

everytime i hear this song, i will go all sad. i've been neglecting my mum recently. i'm sorry for all the tantrums that i've done. i'm sorry that i wounded your heart. i'm sorry that i'm not the filial son. all i know is, i love you and you're one of the reasons that i'm standing. thanks, mom.(: